my mood finally burst . i cried ... i know its stupid but i am tired of holding back my freaking tears already okays ?! i am really crying while i am typing this ...

my brother . he never fails to ruin my day . & today i had so many bombs already . can't he just fang guo wo ? freaking ... still freakingly stepped my freaking feet . i am having sore throat still ... i can't scream i can't shout . freak ! i accidentally throw only mahhs . boy ! throw at me back for what huhs ? idiot ! freaking . sias .

like my results ain't bad enough to make me cry ? huhs ?! i held back my tears . then you like that bully me . i freakingly have enough already okays . so what if mummy always take your stupid side ? so what ? you better pray you in future more successful than me . idiot ! you better pray hard !

my throat is hurting , i feel uncomfortable , i feel like screaming my freaking head off .

i suddenly feel like ending my freaking life . is it worth it to drive so hard , score average but get treated like dirt ?!(average is good enough ) is it worth to drive so hard ... is it worth to struggle so hard to live happily & still feel unhappy , even worse , trying to pretend that you are fine ? i tired of doing all these okays !

well let me announce that i am NOT FINE !!! not fine at all !

i am not okay . i am not fine . i am not feeling high . but i am not really emo too . info (: so don't ask . at least i don't at this point of time . i hope everything will be okay after a good night sleep . i hope i will be okay when i wake up from the sleep ...

this couldn't have come at a worse time . i am having trouble sorting out something ...... well . i hope everything would be okay tomorrow . my throat really hurts .. my eye is blurred too .

well , even if i wan to end my life , i wan something painless ... its is not worth feeling so much pain because of misery right ?

my results are probably why i had this outburst . today , i used a freaking tone with mummy . for the first time . i didn't mean it okays . my throat was very dry ... i was crying & i was SICK of her taking my BROTHER'S side ...

well , good thing is i stopped crying already . i need your ______ now !! seriously . but i dun really expect any currently ...

zzz ... i am feeling better now ... okays . i wan to sleep lerhhs . only in sleep can i forget everything ... ((((((((((((((((:

okays . writing everything here make me feel better ... alot alot alot alot alot better . (((: good thing huhs ? blogs are useful (((((((((((:

ABIGAIL (: