I'm disgusted by myself. Really. For reasons I can't even explain, that doesn't even make sense to myself.

I don't want things to return to the past anymore, I just want things to stay the way they are, I don't want it to worsen any further. Please, Its not a greedy wish, just stay this way. I won't wish for more. I don't want to lose two out of the three things I can be proud of in my life.

I need to brainwash myself like what I always do :) I can do it, I can.
It's okay, nothing last forever, even the bad times :)