And maybe, just maybe im starting to see the light. 

Life doesnt seem so stressful recently, of course i did avoid thinking about promos. 

But i should really start studying, because promos is coming, and time is ticking. 

You know i really miss secondary school, where last minute studying always gets me out of trouble because i actually can stay awake and absorb during class. 

seems like when i went to jc, i totally lost focus on what the teacher is trying to teach. 

Must really find the old me that actually listens. maybe more sleep will help ?

On a totally random note, 

went to Moral Home for the Aged Sick today again, and had a great time like last time.

who would have known that playing with elderly, talking to them and feeding them would be so much fun?  

totally realised that im so lucky. 

almost cried twice, when the ah ma was singing 世上只有妈妈好. (SUPER HEART-WRENCHING)

and when i was talking to megan and mrs gan. 

its really sad, but i have no idea how to talk to them and all. 

i really want to go help as a long term volunteer, like how the ah gong ask me to go often. but i hardly have enough time for myself. 

is it cruel of me? 

i told him i would go when im free, and i will. but.. im hardly free on most days :/ so i feel like im disappointing him. do they get disappointed when people dont return? of course right? im soo .. :(

and the elderly are all so sweet, telling me to go eat, afraid that i will be hungry. 

sighhh, its really heartbreaking to see all that. 

most importantly, my views towards the homes changed this time. 

had always dislike the idea of putting elderly into homes cause it just feel like they're forgetting the elderly. 

However, whats the use of asking them to stay at home when you dont have the time to interact and take care of them. so what if you employ a domestic helper, it doesnt make up for the lack of interaction.

today an ah gong told me he was so much happier at the home then at his own house, how he had so much more darlings at the home( totally cute! ). i was stunned temporarily. that's when i realised, it was exactly what i thought in the past. except, i didnt apply this to the homes. 

i have totally no idea how to describe what how i feel from project sphere as well as group home visit. 

some of them really behave like kids, its so.. beautiful. it might seem like a weird way to describe it, but its totally appropriate. 

i guess all i can say is that elderly is really a sensitive topic for me. i tend to cry whenever i come across this kind of thing. 

Appreciate your family and friends, not everyone has them. 

and treasure your grandparents, as well as your parents. 

most important, treasure what you have. not everyone has what you take for granted. 

Because when i went to the home, i felt like i entered a totally different world. it came to me when i was walking in the interchange today how different the environment and atmosphere is. 

okay enough rambling on my part, totally gonna tear soon. 

like what mrs gan said, im really too emotional. when it comes to these things. 

SIGH. maybe i should tell them to contact me when there's events. :)

Also, thanks dear for showing concern about my super negative rant the previous post. really touched :)

okay, byeee :)