Maybe it was just all the stress i have been facing catching up to me.

i feel like im walking on tightrope, and my balance has shifted. And in trying to regain my balance, i seem to have tilted myself more. Feels as though things can come crashing down anytime. Maybe its just me, and my insecurities working. but life has been crazy recently.
Sometimes i feel like just giving up, and jumping off the tightrope, but i think about the long way i've completed, and i feel like its a waste to just give up now. Yet, somehow, that reason just seems.. meh.

im honestly struggling now, as much as i dont like to admit it. my confidence is starting to disappear bit by bit, eroded by the constant disappointment i faced. Well, my results has been improving, but its honestly not enough. MCTs is in two weeks, and i havent had the time to start on any revision.
the combination of self-doubt, family worries, scolding, blames and stress is starting to suffocate me.

Im so worried for As, mainly cause i see j3s coming back, retaking their Alevels. i cant help but think what if that was me?
In the past, when faced with any obstacle, i always had the confidence that i can get through it. Sadly, not this time.

People keep telling me im way too stressed, and they tell me to destress. Yet i have no idea how to. i would love to run everything off, to dance everything away. but i just cant. i didnt choose to be stressed, to be upset. i just am. i have days where i just want to sit there and cry, and not do anything

Sigh all this ranting is making me feel better, sorry for always ranting and complaining :( i will finish it, i will do mybest!!
i miss my girls so much :(

goodbye!